Thursday 27 November 2008

Four Finger Exercises


Parking the car in Wisbech, Capital of The Fens, we notice this shop window. It's one of a number in a side street attached to a large rambling shop that still announces on its fascia board that they are drapers, outfitters and purveyors of trunks- which we assumed were the cabin variety rather than lido wear. Around the corner was the main entrance to Evison's, whose paper bag tells of their stock of Ladies' Wear, Knitting Wool, Gent's Clothing, Gent's Outfitting, Bed Linen, Suit Cases and Camping Equipment. And much, much more. We went in because in another window that displayed more gloves than could ever be put to use by an acid bath murderer, I spotted the back of a particularly nice-looking green tin alarm clock. "That's £5.99" I was told by the friendly girl assistant, "But it's so slow a customer brought it back". So you get the idea. Upstairs a friendly 'gent' who looked like he'd come straight from one of my grandfather's Wisbech Zion Baptist sermons, guided me to a huge stack of flat caps in an alcove. As he wrote out a written receipt to give to the girl downstairs (pin number keypad attached to a phone socket nowhere near a counter) he says "We had Ken Dodd in here. Couldn't get rid of 'im". I asked if he was looking for tickling sticks, which will assuredly be in here somewhere.

11 comments:

Philip Wilkinson said...

A glovely post (groan). I like the distinction between Gent's Clothing and Gent's Outfitting; and the phrase 'Suit Case', reminding us that, when all's said and done, it's just a case to put your suit in. Can't wait to go round for a pair of heavy-duty industrials and a tickling stick.

Toby Savage said...

Yes. I,m there to, but I just love all that rubber.So much in one small window of opportunity.

Jon Dudley said...

What with your recent sausage innuendo and now the rubber gloves, this blog is moving in an interesting direction Mr.A.

Affer said...

The more I look at this fabulous photo, the more creepy the subject becomes: like old dolls with that terrible staring look.

Leave aside the kitchen towel background: all the red gloves seem to have been afflicted by some fungal growth. Perhaps, like the alarm clock, they have been 'pre-loved' (as the marketers would say). In Wisbech, that might mean the plunging of a relative's body into the acid-bath. *shudder*.

I can almost hear the leering assistant: "These will do you fine, Sir. They worked well for the previous user...."

Peter Ashley said...

We did think it strange that so much window space (in the side street admittedly) should be given over exclusively to rubber gloves and boots. The gloves and / or packets are displayed against neatly stapled white kitchen roll. One does indeed shudder at what use all this is being put to, but if anyone's read Graham Swift's 'Waterland' you'll get a few clues perhaps.

Peter Ashley said...

We did think it strange that so much window space (in the side street admittedly) should be given over exclusively to rubber gloves and boots. The gloves and / or packets are displayed against neatly stapled white kitchen roll. One does indeed shudder at what use all this is being put to, but if anyone's read Graham Swift's 'Waterland' you'll get a few clues perhaps.

Philip Wilkinson said...

I thought something unpleasant had oozed (pun absolutely intended, à la Waterland) on to the red gloves. It does indeed make one pause.

Peter Ashley said...

Oh Philip.

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