Sunday, 9 March 2008

A Kick in the Privates

This isn't a pretty picture, and it isn't meant to be. Just below the village of Stoke Dry in Rutland is the Eyebrook Reservoir, formed from the Eye Brook being dammed in 1940 to supply water for the Corby Steelworks. It is a Site of Special Scientific Interest (SSSI) and it's here you will come across big telescopes looking at Bewick's Swans and Goosanders or retired couples just sitting in their cars with their Smith Kendon Travel Sweets. But much of this beautiful area is out of bounds, the preserve of permit-holders (who they?) and of course anglers. So far, so just about alright. I appreciate the fact that nature reserves need to be protected, that anglers must sit around all day not speaking with only a tin of maggots for company. But does it give them the right to allow this appalling and mediocre collection of bully boy signs? They will doubtless all puff-up their padded anoraks and tell us it's all about Elf & Safety, and you can't have just anybody walking about enjoying the countryside. If it's a case of vandalism or setting fire to stolen cars (this kind of sign encourages mindless acts) then get the Game Conservancy shootists down for a bit of practice. If it is necessary to keep people out then at least produce one decently designed sign that doesn't shout abuse at everybody who comes here. I find it ironic that on the corner of two signs it says 'Corus in the community'. Sorry about this rant, but perhaps it's worth remembering that in the Second World War RAF pilots risked their lives on this same water learning how to bounce bombs, in order for our freedoms to be preserved from fascistic bullies hell-bent on depriving us of them.

13 comments:

Toby Savage said...

Fully support you there Peter. It prompts one to buy an old Centurion Tank on ebay and drive it straight through the whole lot, gate and all. Dump it in the water with a bit sign on it saying 'Up yours'.

Peter Ashley said...

Do we know where we can get one? Or a Blaw-Knox bulldozer, 'cos I'd also like to clear away the Groombridge Place 'Enchanted Forest' (sic) in Kent, where there are more signs telling you not to do things than there are blades of grass.

Toby Savage said...

The answer to our prayers is here on 'milweb' I'll go halves with you:
http://www.milweb.net/classifieds/large_image.php?ad=40778&cat=1

Toby Savage said...

Ah! The time is correct at last!!

Thud said...

I drive the back roads of Napa and Sonoma counties CA several times a year.It is immediately noticeable that there is a complete abscence of any such signs and in fact much in the way of any signs for hundreds of miles.Much of America outside of the cities reminds me of England 30-40 years ago.

Fred Fibonacci said...

All these wretched signs play havoc with Darwinian theory too. If you're dumb enough to stand on a railway line/set fire to yourself/drink bleach/eat radioactive waste then perhaps nature should be left to take her elegant course.

I rather miss the old Ashley-time. I enjoyed seeing posts appear before they'd even been written.

Now; where's that tank?

Ton Tom said...

Ahhhh Barnes Wallis. Geodetic structures. Brooklands, the Lancaster,Tall Boy. Grand Slam. The Swallow...what else???

Peter Ashley said...

Tall Boy. Didn't he write the Antique Furniture version of War & Peace?

Philip Wilkinson said...

What an atrocious collection of naff notices. No wonder some of the more progressive planners (I know, I know) are starting to advocate ripping signs out completely from some sites (town centres, especially) so that people just slow down and follow their noses.

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Jon Dudley said...

My favourite sign is 'Do not throw stones at this sign'. Why don't these wretched signallers just put up something like 'BEWARE MANTRAPS' and be done with it? Whatever happened to the Blaw-Knox company by the way? Their estimable road surfacing machines were once a widely used along with Scammel tar spreaders.

Peter Ashley said...

Blaw Knox came into my vocabulary courtesy of Dinky Toys, which also gave me Euclid, Aveling-Barford, Field Marshall, Muir Hill and Coventry Climax which much later became to mean something completely different.

Ton Tom said...

Signs. Yes! That will be my next blog. I have been containing the strange fact for years. That slippery surface sign. Where's my camera?