Wednesday 1 October 2008

Round the Bend


'Ere we go again' as the earwig said as he fell off the shelf. These crass, cheap plastic arrows recently appeared overnight like sprouting fungi at a junction near Ashley Towers. Phew, I'm so glad they've put them up, now I can stop driving straight off the road and into the field every time I come down here. The yellow jackets have so obviously been out with clipboards and biros to see where they can spend some money before a budgetary review. Any excuse that Leicestershire County Council gives about signs being put up as a result of what they call 'accidents and near misses' must be taken with a big pinch of road salt. Ever since motoring began they've never deemed this particular bend sufficiently nerve-racking to warrant even an ordinary sign on the approaches. I thought I'd ring the council's Freephone 'Roadline' to find out more. Apparently they only put new signs up if the police give them records of mishaps, real or imaginary, or we the public lobby for them. I won't bore you with all that passed between us, (I got the impression they were keeping me talking whilst they traced the call, like in The Bill), but one quote from them is worth repeating. "We don't care if we completely wreck the countryside if it saves lives". Oh. Right. That's OK then.

11 comments:

Thud said...

My home area seems blighted by what must be hundreds of signs proclaiming every few hundred yards the total of deaths etc on every stretch of road.Are they boasting?....will the metal signs be over painted with new totals every year or will I drive down roads that have had 10 fatalities when the sign still says 9....I'm confused.

Peter Ashley said...

I too have wondered about these Death Signs. I always feel I need a breakdown of the figure- how many were motorcyclists going at 132mph, how many overtaking on blind bends, how many ten times over the limit going into trees.It's drivers, not roads that cause accidents. To do a Diplo: MORE PROPER POLICEMEN!

potterboy said...

Those signs look like they've been dropped from an aeroplane (is that a proper spelling these days? was it ever?) - some WW2 bomber or maybe a B52. Bizarre.

Philip Wilkinson said...

Yes, potterboy's right. Notice how they're pointed at the bottom but they look as if they haven't sunk far enough into the ground. The other thing that gets my goat is 'temporary' signs that get left behind after their purpose has come and gone. For weeks on up the Cotswolds we have had a big red 'No road markings' sign covering 20 yards of road that had been repaired and had no markings on it for about a week (and, yes, even then you could SEE there were no road markings there without a sign to tell you). Bah!

Fred Fibonacci said...

Here in Brook Green 'they' have painted great big thick ugly stupid yellow lines to denote 'bus holding area' or somesuch. A complete and utter nonsense. If I can summon the will, and the strength, I may even go and photograph them.

Peter Ashley said...

You must Fred. Let's start a campaign against mindless unnecessary road signing. If we can be arsed.

Jon Dudley said...

And the kindest temporary sign of all in Cornwall on the A30 - Speed cameras turned off.

Peter Ashley said...

Welcome back Mr.Dudley. Are you fresh in from the Americas? Bet they have some good signs on their highways. Did you get your kicks on Route 66?

Jon Dudley said...

Thank you for your good wishes - you've no idea how homesick I felt reading your blog. However there's undoubtedly a gap in the market for 'Ashley's America'. Didn't do Route 66 this time, mainly small town America. We drove 4000 miles and saw about as many signs. Notable amongst these were 'Beware of Possums' , 'Do not feed the Bears' (as if proffering a Hershey bar to a Grizzly was at the forefront of my mind), and 'Please use the spitoons'. Virtually every rural sign in Kentucky had been liberally drilled with bullets from high calibre armaments. There was a report in the local paper of a woman having received serious injuries from a bullet directed at a road sign which had passed through it and hit her whilst she was putting out the washing in a neighbouring county...funny old place.

Simon Clarke said...

nerve-RACKING. As in: you are on the rack, an instrument of torture.

Just thought I ought to clear that up...

Peter Ashley said...

Thankyou Mr.Clarke, my copy has been amended. Still, nice to know someone's paying attention.