Tuesday, 23 June 2009

Find The Fault No 15

Funny things, watches. All that time on your hands. I've had a few, everything from a Bulova which wound itself up everytime I did a handstand to a Russian tank commander's timepiece. The days seemed to go very slowly with the latter until you realised the date was just one number painted on the face. Then there was the black Swatch I bought at East Midlands Airport and stood so long chatting up the assistant I very nearly missed my flight to Glasgow. Getting on the plane to see all the quite rightly irritated passengers meaningfully tapping their watches. The Unmitigated England watch shouldn't be a wrist watch of course, but a pocket chronometer that can be slowly drawn out of a waistcoat pocket on its chain to check the arrival of the 10.15am to Mugby Junction. Or to swing slowly in front of people to hypnotise them into giving you their mint 'n' boxed Dinky Toys. Oh. Crikey. Is that the time?

21 comments:

Diplomate said...

if that's an engagement ring it's too small and on the wrong finger.
I have seen watches with the winder at 9 o'clock before but our friend could be off on one again !!!!!

Peter Ashley said...

Oh Diplo. Do you stay up all night waiting with your finger on the button? I think we should be told. Of course the answer sheet says: "Winder of watch is on wrong side". A tin of Unmitigated Humbugs in the post.

Puddler said...

Were her fingers all severed in some horrific accident?

Peter Ashley said...

Tee hee Puddler, I like that. It would certainly explain the lack of colour in what remains of the hand. Far more convincing than a mistake at the printers.

Affer said...

I think Puddler is on to something...but this appears to be half an arm, severed post mortem, and is obviously evidence of a major act of violence - probably criminal.

Annabel said...

I thought that it was a rather manly watch for a lady!!!

Diplomate said...

What Lady ? those sausage fingers surely belong to a clammy, diabetic, cross-dressing, stamp collecting tax inspector.

Peter Ashley said...

Sounds like you've had a recent experience Diplo. But you're right.

TIW said...

A rather manly watch for a lady? Ironically, wristwatches were considered positively effeminate until the mud of the Western Front rendered the pocket watch muddily obsolete.

williamandemma said...

The watch won't work anyway - surely the minute hand is too long to pass either quarter past or quarter to. By the by as a left handed person, the winder is on entirely the correct side for me (shame it's on the wrong wrist!)

Peter Ashley said...

Well fancy that Williamandemma. My neighbour (the One Who Knows What I Like) has just collared me and pointed out the same thing about the hands being too long to function anyway. Anyway, I've just taken a peek at next week's puzzle and just don't know what I'm going to say about it.

Diplomate said...

mmmmmm - this "artist"/purveyor of puzzles is a crap draftsman at the very least. Willandemma's point is valid (excepting we must consider the telescopic watch hand possibility). In his naivety he seems to concentrate on his "clever" deception but manages to bollox up the detail in the other parts of the picture in such a way as to introduce a good handful of equally valid "faults". This approach and the evidence of his smug inability to view the world through his readers' eyes, leads me to pronounce a diagnosis of Asberger's Syndrome or a related disorder from the autism spectrum. Upon reflection, this phenominum of enthusiasm for his own deliberately crafted fault and complete disregard for detail elsewhere is present in nearly all of his pieces. I have absolutely no doubt that if we were able to discuss this issue with the artist he wouldn't have a clue what we were talking about - you see, he can only see the bloody winder !

Diplomate said...

The result of all the above is, of course, that we are reduced to guessing which of the many faults was the artist's intended one. On this basis I may have to consider withdrawing from the game altogether before I make myself ill.

Sue said...

Severed arm with gangrene already set in,clammy sausagey cross-dressing fingers, a smug autistic artist...hardly adds up to the "Dainty" series, as this is described.
I wonder when anyone last used the adjective "dainty" outside this blog?

Diplomate said...

just this morning as it happens Sue - our dustmen always replace the recycling boxes at the roadside with a dainty fling and was obliged to tell them so today.

Affer said...

Possibly Sarah Dainty on Twitter - she is 'dainty one' and is off to Ibiza soon.

Jon Dudley said...

Yes, Diplo, you are (as in so many matters) right, but what on earth will exercise us once this little crop of puzzles has been exhausted? Surely not matters of philosophy or brain teasers of the Sudoku variety - nothing too taxing please Mr.A. The beauty of the current crop lies in their ability for blogistas to infinitely extemporise upon alternative highly inventive solutions. I rather like the washed out quality of the illustrions...I bet they'd look good blown up to six feet tall...or maybe, just blown up.

Peter Ashley said...

Blimey, I can't leave you lot alone for five minutes. I go out for a coffee and a slice of buttered Soreen Malt Loaf and come back to find Jean Paul Sartres everywhere. But Jon, your idea of blowing up the pictures is an excellent concept. You can see it in the turbine hall at Tate Modern now. Twenty feet long version of the one with a blocked sink.

Philip Wilkinson said...

Can't possibly cap any of these comments. But now I want some Soreen and am off to see if there's any left chez the Co-op. (Lincolnshire plum bread would be even better, but there's no chance of that out here in the wild West.)

Thud said...

After all the above there is nothing else to add...a slice of soreen does however sound just about right,so nothing wasted by this visit.

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