Wednesday, 1 July 2009
Unmitigated England fully supports the right of Paul McCartney to eat lettuce burgers instead of a big sizzling joint of roast cow. But what gets Ashley Towers hot under the grill is him appearing in my Telegraph magazine last Saturday with his pale daughters (they look like they could both do with a good haunch of venison each) telling me that I should give up eating meat every Monday. Well, Macca, as much as I like Eleanor Rigby and that thing you did with Dave Gilmour a few years ago, I just wanted you to know that as a result of your campaign I'm going to designate one day a week (Full On Friday perhaps) to eat twice as many butchery products as normal. I don't eat that much meat anyway, a good old bit of cow or pig on a Sunday, bacon and bangers for breakfasts, that sort of thing. So it'll do me good to bulk out a little, and at least I'll be doing my bit to keep scenes like the above (a few Sunday dinners there) intact. I think I'll also try to make a variant of the pork pie, perhaps with some slices of badger in it or something, and call it McCartney Pie. But I think what annoyed me most was the reason he gave for going veggie in the 70s. "We were on the farm and we saw lambs gambolling and we were eating a leg of lamb. So it was a compassionate thing". I think he's realised just how fatuous that was, so now of course he and his wan offspring are saying it's to Save The Planet. Very laudable Macca, but not half as good as Back In The USSR.