Wednesday, 1 July 2009

Macca Tosh

Unmitigated England fully supports the right of Paul McCartney to eat lettuce burgers instead of a big sizzling joint of roast cow. But what gets Ashley Towers hot under the grill is him appearing in my Telegraph magazine last Saturday with his pale daughters (they look like they could both do with a good haunch of venison each) telling me that I should give up eating meat every Monday. Well, Macca, as much as I like Eleanor Rigby and that thing you did with Dave Gilmour a few years ago, I just wanted you to know that as a result of your campaign I'm going to designate one day a week (Full On Friday perhaps) to eat twice as many butchery products as normal. I don't eat that much meat anyway, a good old bit of cow or pig on a Sunday, bacon and bangers for breakfasts, that sort of thing. So it'll do me good to bulk out a little, and at least I'll be doing my bit to keep scenes like the above (a few Sunday dinners there) intact. I think I'll also try to make a variant of the pork pie, perhaps with some slices of badger in it or something, and call it McCartney Pie. But I think what annoyed me most was the reason he gave for going veggie in the 70s. "We were on the farm and we saw lambs gambolling and we were eating a leg of lamb. So it was a compassionate thing". I think he's realised just how fatuous that was, so now of course he and his wan offspring are saying it's to Save The Planet. Very laudable Macca, but not half as good as Back In The USSR.

13 comments:

Sue said...

Talk about being half-pregnant!Either become a vegetarian with full conviction or continue to enjoy crispy bacon, juicy steaks, sizzling sausages and yummy roasts whenever you like.

accountant said...

If he became a vegetarian on compassionate grounds, has he not realised that if we all gave upeating meat, there would be no need to keep farm livestock as we would need the land for growing crops. I can't see that the livestock would any better off in the long run apart from a few kept as rare breeds collections for nostalgia reasons.

ChrisP said...

Is it more cruel to keep animals to kill and eat them, or to force them into extinction because we will only eat vegetables? Discuss.

Peter Ashley said...

Do I have to? It's too hot Chris.

Jon Dudley said...

A Seagull tried to nick a pork chop off our barbie last night...the ethics of whether it was immoral to attempt to hit it with a an empty wine bottle and hopefully kill it, momentarily escaped me. As it was, Mrs.D had me searching for microscopic shards of glass with my Ray-O-Vac torch.

Peter Ashley said...

Oh God it had to be a Ray-O-Vac didn't it. Is this the Unmitigated Torch do we think, or an garishly-coloured metallic Pifco?

Jon Dudley said...

Proper job. Remember the Unmitigated 1950s Ever Ready aluminium battery torches? Sorry, totally off-blog, but very useful for finding dairy shorthorns and vegetarians in the dark.

Diplomate said...

very good, very good - i've changed my profile picture just for Macca. This is a shot of a full (old style cut) shoulder from a particularly well brought up Tamworth. Also today the long search for a Mincer-cum-Sausage Stuffer attachment for the Kenwood has been bought on e-bay. At this time of year my meat input is down a bit to say 8lbs a week, i make up for this by raising fat content of that intake to about 40% by volume. I have a very fine home cured prosciutto in stock which is yielding over 60% hard fat to 40% lean. Delicious. Offal's up at the moment and I'm experimenting with making some foie-gras using a good sized Muntjac liver. Let us have Macca'saddress and i'll pop some in the post.

Peter Ashley said...

Last time I spoke to Macca was backstage at the Royal Albert Hall (don't ask) so I expect the doorman there would keep it for him Diplo, or send it on to Maccaville.

Toby Savage said...

I'm more inclined to eat a nice leg of Spring Lamb after seeing this: http://www.facebook.com/video/video.php?v=98412354556&ref=nf

martin said...

I stood behind Macca once,in an umberella purchasing queue.He bought the one with all the bells and whistles,and I bought the bog-standard item. There was'nt time for a frank exchange on dietary views.An opportunity missed.

Thud said...

I worked with the super hippie Macca close up a couple of times...as my mother would say "he needs a good pan of scouse down him"

David said...

Lamb stew for lunch today. Sirloin for dinner I think.